A fear of flying

~ David C.

A few years ago a friend of mine decided to build a remote control airplane. My buddy is one of those obsessive go all the way type of guys and wanted to build this thing right. He even went so far as to create a little workshop area in his garage with special lighting and a tall table to make the work easier. I joined him a few times at the RC club airfield to watch others flying these little machines of wonder and to talk excitingly about what it would be like when his own balsa marvel was complete.

Weeks went by and after awhile I kind of forgot about the plane and the whole flying project until one day while at his house I noticed the plane on display in the garage. It looked fantastic with the paint gleaming and every graphic placed just right. I of course asked him, “What is it like to fly it?”

He stumbled a bit as he explained that he had yet to fly the plane and after some deep contemplation had decided he most likely never would.

“What!” I exclaimed.

It turns out that while watching others at the RC field my buddy had seen many crashes and planes ruined. Now after having spent countless hours on his own project he did not want to ruin it by actually flying it for fear of the destruction he was convinced would follow.

I know far too many people that are like my friend with his plane. They take time to plan, ponder and talk about the going to’s. Things in life they are going to accomplish. There are plans for jobs going to be succeeded, relationships going to be built, debt going to be reduced, weight going to be lost, marathons going to be run etc. We know we are capable of flying but the fear of our dreams crashing keep us from taking the chance.

Do you fear soaring to the heights of your capabilities? I believe God intended all of us to achieve great things within who we are. We should not fear failure but instead should embrace it, learn from it and try again.

Fear has kept me from many things in life and I am working to take risks. I pray this week that you too will have the courage get off the display rack and take off. You may surprise yourself with the results.

15 Years Ago Today

~ David C.
And so it begins

15 years ago today Michelle and I began our journey together as Mr. & Mrs. Copeland. It all started as a set up blind date on my birthday for lunch. Her good friend Jennifer was a co-worker of mine and for months had been telling me about this person I just had to meet. I was always a bit of shy guy when it came to asking girls out so a blind date sounded like a good idea to me.

The years since that lunch date have been better than I ever imagined. Together we have built a rich life full of trials, errors, laughs and most importantly love. One of the most amazing things about these many years is that we do still enjoy each other and believe steadfastly in our future.
On this special day, I just want express my thankfulness to God for the wonderful woman He planned for me even before I was born. I am also thankful to have such a great wife that through it all still is there loving and supporting me.  I am indeed a blessed man.

Help yourself to happiness

~ David C.


Have you seen the latest ad slogan from the good folks at Golden Corral? As a guy that has struggled with weight and self-image due to my weight for most I my life I found the slogan striking.


Help yourself to happiness

Help yourself to happiness—by gorging at an all-you-can eat buffet? Thanks but no thanks Golden Corral.

I have always had a love/hate relationship with food like many of you. First it was a bit of ignorant bliss since I grew up in a traditional Oklahoma chicken fry and mash potato house. I did not understand eating healthy because no one around me was doing it. Finally in college I took the big step to be in control of my health and sought some professional help.

Years later I struggle everyday to make the healthy choice.

I fight lifelong bad habits and a connection with food as comfort when bored or stressed. Of course I am not alone in our obese America. The numbers are terrifying and in reality we as a nation are slowly killing ourselves by not respecting our bodies. Think of it as a long and slow version of suicide that impacts us both physically and mentally. Hard to say but true.

But there is hope!

There is joy to be found in balance and moderation. Don’t diet! Instead choose to make small changes in your lifestyle through healthy eating habits and exercise. You truly will be amazed at the results. Do it for yourself, do it for your family, and do it for your future!

What do you think about the impact of obesity on our country?

What advice do you have for others that are struggling?

Need more inspiration? Read this great blog post from Anna Light. She will get you going for sure.

Thoughts on 13

~ David C.

Conner turns 13 this week and this birthday is weighing heavily on my heart.

Last weekend on the Scout campout he was put in charge by the Scoutmaster as Senior Patrol Leader (SPL). As he organized and instructed 30 + adults and Scouts I was amazing and wondered “is this really my son” (Scouting is a youth run program and the boys plan and are in charge of everything) I so enjoyed standing afar just watching him as he interacted with everyone.

It is amazing to think that just 12 years ago at this time I was battling cancer with treatments and planning for the worse. At the time my only prayer was to live long enough that he would remember me. My father died when I was very young and I have no memories of him.

Now as he enters the teen years he is becoming more and more his own person and I can see glimpses of the man he will be very soon.

Sitting here today, I am so thankful the Lord chose to give me this time. I want to treasure every moment and be the best father that I am capable of being. I fail so often with this goal and to be honest I wonder why the God chose to heal me when there are so many more worthy people out there that were not so blessed.

Thank you Lord. Thank you for this time, your love for me, my wonderful wife, terrific son and this life.

I hope as you are reading this you will take some time today to reflect on the blessings in your own life. Most of us only get one chance. I happen to be on my second. Take it from me and do not waste a moment of it.

Ten minutes and change

~ David C.

The weather guy last night said we are losing about 10 minutes of daylight a week now. “A sure sign that fall is coming”. Wow it certainly does not feel like fall outside with the sun blazing and temperatures in the 100’s. He was right though, fall is marching towards us and there is no holding back the inevitability of the new season.

Changes in life and work are a lot like those ten minutes a week. Sure, we have the big wham bam changes but in reality the movement comes in small subtle increments over a long period of time. Pounds lost come in small choices like a salad vs. a cheeseburger at lunch. A broken relationship comes in random negative comments and missed opportunities to uplift one another. We have all heard about not sweating the small stuff but in so many ways it is the small stuff in life that makes the biggest difference over time.

I think for this week I am not going to worry about big things and instead will just focus on the 10.

The best advice this year

~ David C.


“Take it from a guy with 5 kids. You hope they grow up and move away someday but you want the wife to stay”

This was some great advice a few weeks back from a twitter friend as I was having a bit of an internal debate about taking a trip with just the wife while our son is gone on a trip of his own with Scouts. The son was a little mad that we would consider going on a cool mini-vacation without him. This was not something in his 12 years of life that we have ever done.

The trip idea is to celebrate our 15th year of married. Truly the advice was a wake up reminder to me that yes the time invested with son is of paramount importance. At the same time, the investment in our husband/wife relationship deserves the same attention. After all, it is our intent to spend the rest of our days on earth together.

How many couples focus so much on the kids that when they grow up and leave they are left with no common interests and goals? How many couples after years of kids no longer know how to woo each other and to enjoy time alone?

So as you may have guessed I booked the trip!

What about you?

Do you take time to woo your wife?

Are you seeking opportunities to spend time together and share common interests?
I suggest we do these things now before there is any chance of growing separate and being left to re-learn each other once the children are gone.

Personally, I know great adventures are in store for Michelle and I. The best is yet to come!

Living with the brake on

~ David C.


I have been working hard this summer to improve my fitness and loose a few pounds. My routine is to alternate between running and cycling. Saturday is my long ride day and I hit the street as soon as there is enough light to ride.

For several weeks the riding did not go so well. My frustrations about this difficulty became so great that I was growing concerned about my health. Was something wrong with me? Why so hard? I thought that my fitness was improving! I bonked so hard on one Saturday ride that I had to give up early and head back to the house with a completion of only 35 miles for the day.

Then one day while passing by my bike in the garage I suddenly for some strange reason gave the back wheel a little spin.

It moved maybe an inch. OOPS!

Turns out that for who knows how long the back brake had been pressed against the wheel. I had been in essence riding with the brake on for weeks.

You can imagine how that next ride went for me after fixing the break. Suddenly I was blazing down the road (well not exactly Lance Armstrong blazing but certainly faster than I had been previously).

It seems like my life is like those rides more often than I would like to admit. I get so frustrated about going slow, not figuring things out or feeling beaten down. Then it turns out more often than not the fix is actually something simple.

A day off
A conversation with an old friend
A change in priorities
An unexpected thank you
Some time alone
A hug from the wife
Time with God

My hope is that during this summer season you can also find that simple solution the release the brake and get your mojo back. See you out there!

Person praise vs. Process praise

~ David C.

The other day I ran across an interesting study about the effectiveness of person praise vs process praise. Here is a link to the study if you are interested in reading.

In a nutshell, the hypothesis was that children would perform better and would be willing to take on harder tasks if the feedback focused more on strategies and effort (process) vs trait (Person) related feedback.

Think, “Wow Sally! You did great on the exercise! I can tell that you are great person” vs. “Wow Sally! You did great on that exercise. The extra effort you did to study the process involved made a real difference in making you successful”

I have taught this for years at the Situation/Action/Result (SAR) model. Following this simple model while giving feedback is very effective.

Situation:
Sally you knew the test was going to be a hard one didn’t you?
Action:
I really appreciate the way you took extra time to study
Result:
You got and A thanks to the extra effort!

An even better technique would be for Sally to tell you the SAR rather then providing it yourself.

This was a good reminder that not only should we praise our children but we should also give specific and detailed reasons behind the praise. How will they repeat the behavior if we do not make sure they know what it was?

This is also good advice for coaching employees BTW.

You are important

~ David C.

If you have read my blog any at all you might guess that I would have a lot to say about the importance of fathers.

I would like to challenge all the current and future dads out there to take a moment and reflect deeply on your role. You have a generational impact on your family. How will you choose to make use of this responsibility? Will you run away seeking the shinny object in your life? This object could be your career, your hobby, your neighbor’s wife and any of the thousands of other distractions that get men off track.

Chasing the object will never match the importance or the joy you will get from a loving child that is looking to you for leadership and teaching.

The bottom line is that you are important!

Don’t believe me? Check out the research

Still don’t believe me? Ask your wife or child’s mother

Still don’t believe me? Look into the eyes of your child and ask him/her

Our children and boys especially are experiencing a crises caused by a lack of positive father leadership.

You don’t have to be a superstar or a perfect person to be a great father!

Just step out and do your best. I think the results might just surprise you.