“You have bigger boobs than me”

“You have bigger boobs than me”

Ouch! This was said to me in jest by a girlfriend of mine back in the spring of 1989 as we were eating a big tray of nachos. I was 21 years old at the time and in my fourth year of college.

I am person that has struggled with my weight as long as I can remember and it seemed no matter what I tried it would just not come off. As a youth, I remember the teasing from the other kids very clearly. I also remember the feeling as I stood there at gym or recess knowing I was going to be the last person to get picked for whatever sport we were being forced to play.

My fear of athletic failure kept me from doing any sports. Exercise was a truly was a stranger to me. Really, up until that moment in 1989 I don’t think my heart had ever risen above 100 BPM unless I was running to grab the last ding dong from the box.

The boob comment for some reason though lit a spark in me. I decided at that moment that I was going to change my life. I was going to learn to eat right and I was going to exercise.

Learning to eat right came from joining a diet program. The company is no longer around but was a lot like weight watchers. I learned through this education that chicken fried steak, fried potatoes, and rolls were not the best choices for meals. (go figure) The greatest lesson was that my previous failures were due to trying to diet vs. just eating right. Once I was no longer on a diet, all the pressure went away and so did the pounds.

Exercising began with a mountain bike from Wal-Mart. I had bike as a kid but other than neighborhood tootling around I had never given it much thought. This mountain bike though over the summer became my primary transportation. I soon realized that I loved the feel of the road under me and I especially loved the feeling of physical strength I was gaining. It was not long before I started hanging out in the local bike shop dreaming of a “real” bike that I could use to join some of the other local riders that I had met.

Over that following summer, I lost over 40 pounds and for the first time in my life gained a physical confidence that I had not experienced before. Since then I have ridden thousands of miles, run 5Ks, 10ks, marathons, duathlons, and even a few triathlons.

I come from a long line of overweight people and it is still a struggle. However, I hate to think of what my health and my weight would be today had I not been struck so hard by the comment and had I not purchased that first cheap bike from Wal-Mart.

What about you? Does the thought of exercise and fitness scare you? Do you think because of your past that you have no future of feeling well, losing weight and getting fit?

Here we are just a few weeks into 2010. Are you ready to change your health for the better? I know with a little work and some well thought out goal setting that you can do it!

Good luck!

Running in Place

Do you think our grandparents would have imagined we would someday live in a world where we would need to run in place on a motorized belt to get our exercise?

For me, I actually kind of like the treadmill. My feet pounding out a rhythmic THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! Sweat dripping like warm salty rain to the floor from my face and arms creating pools of exasperation underneath my temporary kingdom of running content.

However, there was a time when running was for a reason. We ran into battle, we ran away from danger, we ran to the arms of a loved one, we ran to win a grand race. Now we often run just for the sake of running.

The reality of treadmill running is that we can spend hours in the artificial light of that artificial environment running in place. In the end we will still be right where we started.

Of course life can be like this too. We create artificial substitutes for things that once meant much to us. Who needs the sweet sound of a friends’ voice when we can just talk via e-mail, text or twitter? Who needs to deal with the problems of their life when we can just go to the self-help section of the book store and spend $12.00 to find all the answers?

And many of us wonder why our lives seem to stay rutted in today and not moving on to a promising tomorrow. It reminds me of Alice’s experience with the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

Alice asks the cat, “Would you tell me, please, which way should I walk from here?”
The cat replies, “That depends a good deal on where you want to go.”
Alice responds, “I don’t much care where.”
To which the cat replies, “In that case, it doesn’t matter which way you walk”

Alice would have been a great treadmill person. She could have just stayed right there, ran in place and saved herself a lot of trouble.

What about you? Are you living the treadmill life? Do you leave work every day and feel as if you have done nothing but run in place? Are you moving forward in your faith relationship? What about your family?

The start of a new year and indeed a new decade is as good of an opportunity as any to jump off, run out, and get moving in a new direction. This indeed is my hope and my prayer for all of us in 2010.

Press on!

Skipping to end

As you may have guessed things worked out for me and my life indeed is a miracle. The final radiation treatment was Christmas Eve 11 years ago today. It is wonderfully symbolic to think I completed my medical salvation on the day before celebrating the birth of the savior of my soul, heart and mind.

I would like to say I am now fully cancer free but the reality is that I do not think I will ever really be free.

Years ago when I going though all the treatments I would often I fall to my knees and ask God “why me?” Now years later I find myself asking the same question but in a different way.

Instead I pray;

“Why me Lord? Why was I healed when there are so many others out there hurting? What lesson(s) do you have for me? What am I to do with this gift?”

The reality if life is that we all should be asking ourselves these questions everyday. Any life we have is a gift and it should be treasured and shared in a positive way with others. The Bible says, “life is no longer than the width of my hand…at best each of us is but a breath” Psalm 39;4-5

My prayer for you is that you will take a moment today to realize the fact of our temporary lives as we wait to move on to our eternal one. Don’t wait for a lump to start living. Your gifts and your impact are way too important to be wasted on any activity that does not bring glory to God and service to others.

I know I am taking my anniversary today as an opportunity to ask the important questions again and as reminder of my overwhelming responsibility to do something with the extra time I have been given.

Merry Christmas

Note: On 12/24 it will be 11 years since I completed my final cancer treatment. This week I am writing reflectively a bit about my experience.

My chemo treatments were an all day affair at the doctor’s office in his treatment room. Hopefully you have never had to visit one of these rooms. Mine was filled with large recliners set side by side and I was typically by many years the youngest person receiving a treatment. The type of chemo I received was different from the other folks in that I got it all in one long day and I did not lose my hair. The in office treatment was followed by immunotherapy through self administered shots in the evening. I will spare the details only to say the reaction to the interferon was far worse than the chemotherapy.

The miracle here was that the therapy began to shrink the tumors faster and to a smaller size than the Dr’s had believed were possible. Suddenly the prospect of having the tumors surgically removed became an unexpected reality. In this second surgery they would remove the remaining tumors and at the same time all the lymph nodes under my right arm and near the right side of my neck.

Hope was on my radar.

The second surgery—

I will never forget the day we met with the Dr. for the results. The poor guy could not even look me in the eye as he told me the news. Yes they successfully removed the four remaining tumors. Unfortunately, almost all of the nodes removed showed clear signs of cancer.

All I could think was, “this can’t be happening to me” “I have too much left to do” “Why Lord would you have my son grow up having never known his father just as I had? Why! Why! Why!”

I decided right then to no longer ask why or fear my fate. Instead I wrote this credo in my journal:

Dave’s Credo

What I know:
Through the power of Christ, I will be healed;
I have read all the statistics and understand the challenge before me;
This is a battle that cannot be fought alone;
There are people out there who are beating this thing;
I have a wonderful medical team working to help me be well again;
Cancer is a word and not a sentence;
What I plan to do:
Since I have already read the statistics, I will no longer worry about them;
I will work every day to get closer to God so that I may understand this plan for my life;
I will put my health and treatments before work;
I will remember that what is important is to love my family and strive to support them (its really not about me);
I will continue to believe that I will be healed;
I will seek out support from friends and family;
I will work to reduce stress in my life;

This credo indeed was a bit of a turning point for me from an internal attitude point of view. I had decided to move on and live life no matter how long that life may turn out to be.

More to the story with my next and final post on this topic….

Note: On 12/24 it will be 11 years since I completed my final cancer treatment. This week I am writing reflectively a bit about my experience.

(continued from yesterday)

The early tests and conversations with the medical team were not encouraging. I had five tumors all in my lymph nodes with three under my arm and two near my neck. It is bad to have tumors in two places and so far from the original mole as this meant the cancer had metastasized. Quickly the doctors set out a plan for me that first included surgery to be followed chemotherapy, immunotherapy, surgery again if possible and finally radiation.

My cancer was declared Stage IV. This is not good news for any cancer and especially with Melanoma. The best five year survival rate I could find on the Internet for a stage IV patient was 19% with most sites showing an even smaller % chance to live. For hours I would just stare at my computer screen and read over and over statements like this one:

“Modest progress has been made in the treatment of metastatic melanoma over the past decade. With the advent of high dose interleukin-2 (IL-2), it may be possible for a small number of people to be cured of their disease. Despite this, the average survival in people treated for metastatic disease may be as short as nine months”

CRAP!

Darn you Internet and your vast amounts of information.

There was not only talk of treatments but there was talk of pain management, DNRs, quality of life and planning for the worst case scenario. The Dr. to his credit did not want to give me a worse case date but when forced by me said it could be months.

More to the story with my next post….

My Journey through cancer..


Note: 12/24 is the 11th anniversary of my final cancer treatment.

I will never forget that morning. I woke up just like any other day and started my normal routine. Little did I know that my life was about to change forever. I was in the shower enjoying a steamy start to another exciting day. Life was good. New job, new house, wonderful wife and a beautiful nine month old son peacefully sleeping in his room. At 31 years old, the world of possibilities was finally opening a door for me.

Then as I washed under my arm I felt it—I pressed hard to confirm it was there and when doing so found a second one. I immediately and without a shadow of doubt in my mind knew what I had discovered–Cancer

I was no stranger to the possibility. It was five years earlier when a mole had been removed from my back and declared melanoma. However, after such a long length of time I had become confident I would not have to deal with this again. Suddenly, and without any forewarning that confidence was gone.

I went on to work without saying anything to my wife and immediately contacted the Dr. for a same day appointment. The look on his face as he felt the lump was all the confirmation I needed. Next he said, “feels like you have three lumps here.” “What about the ones on your neck?” What! Turns out I had three tumors under my arm and two smaller but obvious ones on my neck.

I held it together pretty good until leaving the dr. office. Next stop was the little prayer chapel at church. Here alone and on my knees I asked the obvious why questions. Through the death of my mother just a couple of years earlier I had seen firsthand the slow dying process for those with cancer. Also, through the death of my dad when I was a young child I knew what it was like to grow up without a father. I cared very little for myself even in these first moments. I mostly worried that my son would now have to live the childhood I had lived. It was a childhood with no memories of an earthly father and filled with anger, pain and blame as a result.

More to the story with my next post….

Got gratitude?


Life is stressful at times and we all flow through general ups and downs of happiness and exasperation. I call my most stressed times “white flag moments”. These are times when I truly feel just like giving up. I have reached the end of my ability and do not think there is any way to move on. The good news is that in these moments I have learned to instead of throwing the flag to open up my Bible. I have also in my deepest moments learned to take time to look over my gratitude list.
What is a gratitude list? (Glad you asked) During times of simple and even great joy over the last several years I have taken just a moment to jot down just a couple of words to describe that moment and what about it made me grateful. I keep this document on my computer and on my phone so that I can access and update at any time. Here are just a few past entries as an example:

The love of my wife
the power of hope
hide and seek with Conner
prayer
The promise of a new day
sunshine
the love of others
friendly people
Lunch with my wife
lunch with old friends
my dog Cayman
friends at work
planes that run late when I need them to
getting home early
Good movies
ice cream
the smell of fresh cut grass
flowers
spring rains
unknown friends
solved problems
long walks
long talks
The feel of dirt
tickles

Each entry represents an actual moment in time for me and the words help trigger the memory that will take me back. After many years, my list has grown to several hundred moments. The funny thing about white flag moments is that sometimes we can get so caught up in them that we forget all the wonderful things in our past and in our present that really make life so joyful.

Do you have a gratitude list? If not, you might want to consider one. It just might make a difference in your life as it has in mine.

Happy Twitterversary to me!

I realized the other day this is my one year anniversary on Twitter! I had heard about this Twitter thing for months and then when I started reading @scottwilliams blog I became even more convinced that I should check it out. Here I am a year and 2,700+ tweets later! What have I learned?

Twitter is a connector: I have mostly concentrated my following on people who also live here in OKC. I grew up in a small town and these loose connections with people like @dangordan @chefrp @pandabeara @okc_casey @rmphotgraphy @therasor as well as others in a very hard to explain way have helped me feel more connected to my community.

Twitter is selfish: I once described Twitter is a large room filled with people talking about themselves with little concern for the others in the room. This is true for the vast majority of users it seems. These are the folks that follow you for some reason but never take time to DM, RT, @reply or read your blog. I think this is what frustrates me the most.

Twitter is educational: My personal interests are as diverse as the people I follow. Through Twitter I have learned much about restaurants, technology, local events, and much more. I have even created a second account @okcscouter specifically to connect and learn from other Scout volunteers all over the world.

Twitter is a stress reliever: I am not a pretend guru or some guy with a hidden agenda. My timeline of comments and observations are basically a micro reality show into the life of the Copeland family. These connections have especially been helpful when I travel for work. It is nice to have a voice back home when out of town.

Twitter is just plain fun: This is the bottom line for me. I have truly enjoyed the experience and sincerely appreciate everyone I have become connected with over this last year. Thank you for following and for reading.

I am a fraud…


I am a fraud…

There I said it and it feels so good.

David #1 (the David I desire to be)

Charming, thin, athletic, wonderful husband, greatest dad, Bible reader, friend, listener, prayer warrior, leader, adventurer, mentor, grateful volunteer, joyful giver, difference maker…..

David (the David I seem to be more often)

Overeater, couch potato, distracted husband, impatient father, selfish leader, negative thinker, reluctant giver, life skater….

At least I have good company. Paul says in Romans
“ What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.” Later he says, “I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. (from The Message)

Gosh his words could be my own. Could they be yours? Do you struggle with the person you are vs. the person you want to be? It seems so often that the desires of our heart do not translate positively into the actions of our hands and feet.

I would love to add another sentence with some grand guru advice on how to solve this conundrum for you and I but have no words to give. My only hope is the same hope that Paul later expresses.

“Is there no one who can do anything for me?” “The answer, thank God is that Jesus Christ can and does”

A new month has arrived and it is time to get my heart working to get my hands and feet moving. I so pray that you will do the same. Even if we fail at times at least we are trying.

How have you solved this problem? How do you get your actions to match your dreams and plans?

A lesson from Conner

“Hey dad I think I want to play football this year” Conner made this statement to me towards the end of summer. I was quite frankly a little surprised at his sudden decision to play football given that he had never played before and would start right off on the 7th grade team with people that have been playing for several years. I immediately rattled off many reasons to Conner why I thought this was not a good idea. I was mostly worried that he would be so behind the other boys in skill that he would find himself made fun of or would get hurt. Heck, we did not even own a football and had to go buy one for him.

Now here we are many weeks later with the season coming to and end this evening. Conner once again has amazed me with his tenacity and with his positive attitude. Not once did I hear him complain about the workouts, being on the JV team, struggling to learn or really anything else beyond just basic frustrations. Mostly I saw him and the other JV kids especially get the opportunity to become physically stronger, mentally stronger, and get the feel of what it is like to be part of a team.

What an important lesson for me as a Dad and as a leader. How many times in the past have I heard an idea only to push right back and say reasons why it would not work? How many times have I let my own life experiences get in the way of the possibilities of others? Conner has reminded me once again that we will never fail in life if we never try. Turns out we will never succeed either. Thank you son for the wonderful lesson. I am so proud of you