attitude

Time to burn the boats?

~ David C.
Ever seen the movie Hunt for Red October? It is one on my favorite of all time.
Early in the movie Captain Ramious during a gathering of his officers rather casually informs them that he has left a letter with the Soviet high command informing them of their plan to defect to the United States and turnover their high tech submarine. The officers are enraged as they know this will bring the entire Soviet fleet down on them in an effort to destroy the ship and prevent the defection.
Next, Sean Connery in that famous accent of his tells the legend of Cortez and his arrival to the new world. As the story goes, in 1519 Cortez with 500 men and 11 ships traveled to the South America intending to conquer and capture treasure.
Cortez knew this was going to be a great challenge for his men and decided to take action in a way that would ensure complete engagement of his army. He left them with no alternative other than complete success. He ordered them to burn the boats. As Captain Ramious so eloquently frames it in the movie, this left his men “highly motivated”
Too seldom in our lives do we decide as Cortez did to throw away all fear of success and burn the boats. Instead we let our fear and our focus on past failed attempts keep us from fully living life as it should be lived.
 

As we move into a new season of change with another year nearing a close, I want to challenge you to burn the boats and never look back. Just imagine what you will accomplish. 

Get over it: There is no such thing as work/life balance

~ David C.
“I am so sorry. I was off a few days on vacation with my family and did not keep up with e-mail.”

This was the opening comment from a manager I met with recently. Later in the day while in another meeting I asked a manager peer about her recent time off.

Me—“How was your vacation?”
Person—“Good but I did not do any work!” “I am so behind!”
Such is the life of exempt level employees and especially managers. We find ways to leave work but work never leaves us.
Our competitive work culture creates added pressure as time away can mean missed opportunities to contribute to key projects. This can lead to a perception of low value which in turn later can lead you to being the person selected for the next layoff. Not necessarily true but that is what many people think as they ponder time away from work.
Now let’s add to all of this the new hyper connected world we live in. Thanks to phones and tablets we are now connected to work 24×7. There is no excuse at all to miss that important e-mail update, project meeting maker or big data result.
For these reasons and more I have come to the clear conclusion there is no such thing as work life balance. I do not even like the term as I think it is deviously deceptive. The word “balance” creates a false hope that work and life is a 50/50 proposition. Striving for that level of balance can create far too much undo angst.
The solution I have worked out over the years is situational priority management.
I am successful in my work life because I recognize when it is time to turn it on, dig in and bust my butt to enable great results. There are times when this will require 60 hour weeks and 12 hours days and that is okay.
I am successful in my family life because I recognize when it is time to turn work off, get out and bust a move to enable great connections with my wife and teen son. When on vacation, I commit to being fully present with the family resisting the urge to work and by trusting those on my team to make the most of their empowerment.
As a father and a husband, I know that family is forever and if I am to be successful in the most important role God has given me I have to be deliberate with my time both as a parent and as a work professional. Success in one area can indeed lead to success in another.

Yes you can make everything work by managing priorities and by not letting things get out of whack forever. It is okay to have 60+ hour work weeks. The problem comes when the norm becomes all work and no family. 
Remember, jobs are temporary but your family should be permanent! There will be times when you have to sacrifice in one area to have success in another. The key is just to recognize this, be deliberate and live guilt free in each with proper priority management. 

So dump the guilt, forget balance and strive for success instead. It is possible to win at home and at work. 

Is college required for you to find “it”?

~ David C.
You always have some students who say, ‘I don’t want to go to college; But they don’t realize whatever it is in life, they need to go to college for it.” Martin Copland (no relation to me)
This is a quote I read recently in an article about plans to encourage more students to attend college out of high school. The quote was from a high school guidance counselor.
First as a parent of a high school junior I want to make it very clear that we strongly believe the path to our son’s lifelong career success will pass through college. We are blessed that he already has decided his future career and is working now to ensure he is gaining skills that will help him in college and beyond.
I also understand and recognize that the evidence clearly shows that college graduates over a lifetime will have a higher income and experience many other benefits.
With all of this in mind, I nonetheless could not help but get angry over the quote. I just hate to think of the poor kid with a dream to work with his hands and make a good living as a mechanic, welder or in a manufacturing industry having a dream crushed by such a statement.
College is outrageously expensive and there are many kids that go just because it is the right thing to do and years later find themselves in thousands of dollars of debt. Many graduate with soft degrees that give them no real skills for the marketplace or worse yet due to not knowing what they want they leave no degree at all due to having dropped out of school.(and still thousand of dollars in debt)
Wake up folks!  There are plenty of options for the young person not seeking to go to college. The key is to provide them with support and guidance to find the right fit for who they can be.
Need some ideas?  Here is an article about forty high paying jobs that do not require a degree.
What do you think?  Can someone be a success without going right to college after high school? Is it possible to effectively encourage kids to attend college while also encouraging the non-college bound kid to find a good career? 
Rant over….
Oh and by the way, I am very thankful to live here in Oklahoma where we have extensive help for kids dreaming of College thanks to the Oklahoma Promise program. Our school district is helping to make the process even easier by providing better and free access to the ACT test. We also have one of the nation’s best career tech programs for many non-college options. 

Cubicle Man!

~ David C.
I am not much of a TV watcher and it seems when I do take time to flip through the current cable offerings all we seem to have any more are reality shows. Interestingly, many of the popular shows are about people that have jobs and lives of danger and excitement.
Who would have imagined years ago that there would be an audience for shows about fishermen, lumberjacks, Alaska cabin dwellers, and redneck country folks.
I spend my day in a cubicle. The overall level of excitement of reading e-mails, attending conference calls and enduring endless meetings is somewhat lacking.
Perhaps I need to star in my own show. “Cubicleman!?” “E-mail Dynasty!?” “Conference calls: The Last Frontier!?” I could set up a GOPRO camera and record every exciting moment.
Up at 530! Work by 0700! Lunch at desk while working! Out by 530! My day would be riveting I am sure for others to observe.
Most if these shows are popular because people long to escape their own mundane and sterile lives to have adventure and challenges. We were born for adventure—climb mountains, fight battles, solve problems and to conquer.
Anything less brings boredom and a wandering spirit.
Let me offer a cure. Look into the world around you and find your own adventure. There is joy and excitement in our everyday lives. You just have to notice it.

Go enjoy life. After all, as I used to tell my son, “only boring people get bored”.  It is your choice. 

The Power of Encouragement

~ David C.
One of the things you hear marathon runners talk about is “the wall”. This is the moment around mile 20 or so when many people reach that critical point where a physical and mental choice is made. The choice revolves around continuing to run, walking, or for some just plain quitting.
I can remember hitting this moment during my fist marathon several years ago.
It was somewhere around mile 22 and after three and a half hours of running. It seemed most of the people around me at this point were walking or doing a little run/walk combo. To say we were running at this point was a bit of stretch.
Oh how I longed for the pain end and to join the comfort of those who were walking.
One cool thing at the Dallas White Rock Marathon is that if you are a first time marathoner you have a different number you wear so that anyone will know you are a first timer.  
Here back at the end of the pack there were several of us first timers.
As my desire to stop was reaching a crescendo, a first timer that was slightly ahead of me had started walking. There on the corner standing alone was a friendly spectator that saw this and shouted, “Hey first timer! Come on! You are almost there and looking good! Don’t start walking! Go for the finish!”
These words were not intended for me. 
The person of intention kept on walking.
 
But for me it made a difference.

Her words right at that moment encouraged me to keep moving and to reach the goal I had spent so many months working towards. I was just four miles from completing my dream to run a marathon and I was not about to stop running now thanks to some kindness that was not even intended for me.

The lesson I learned from this moment is that we can never really know the power of our positive attitude. We may miss the mark with the person we intend to help at the time but may be setting an example unknowingly to help someone else. Part of me also hopes that walker soaked in the encouragement and later crossed the line in triumph.

Don’t give up. It just takes a small step to move forward.

Hello My Name Is…..

~ David C.
Hello my name is…..
Regret, stupid, mistake, loser, ugly, fat, defeat
For many people the labels we wear in our hearts about who or what we think we really are can be completely debilitating. Many are self-created for no real reason at all while others are the result of false assessments placed on us through the ignorance and meanness of others.
I am 46 yet in my head on bad day I can see very clearly the time as a second or third grader when in a moment of self defeat I etched “dummie” on  a brick outside the west side of our house. That moment and that word haunted me for years as not only did it continue to echo in my head but later I realized it would not come off the brick. I had created a false label. 
I think we all do this. We etch labels so deeply in our hearts that we just can’t seem to remove them. Then for some to feel better they transfer these labels to others in an effort to feel better.  I know way too many people that hate themselves and then in turn spend too much time pulling down the world around them.
I will be taller by making those around me smaller.
As Matthew West so successfully reminds us in his song we are not in many cases who we might think. Do not believe the lies. You (and I) have been placed on this world for a reason.
You can and will make a difference for your future. You can leave your past behind.
Hello
Person of influence
Successful employee
Go getter
Loving parent
Devoted spouse
Faithful servant of God

It is wonderful to meet you. 
What is your label?  

Wal-Mart sucks and so do I

~ David C.

Like many people I know, I avoid shopping at Wal-Mart as much as possible. I loathe the dozens of cashier stations with typically just a small percentage open. I cringe at the thought of using the terrible self-service kiosks that always seem to crash when I use them while gleefully exclaiming, “item not found in bag” when I try to pay. Oh the agony.

Then of course there are the people of Wal-Mart. It seems the store brings in a lower class of poorly dressed and equally poorly behaved people shopping in pajamas, house shoes and no bras.

Give me the high class folks of Target or a locally owned store any day.

Just other day the son and I were forced to shop in Wal-Mart together for an item that could not be found anywhere else. We bravely fought the holiday crowd while at the same time gaining great amusement feeling good about ourselves by making fun of the people in the store.

Huh?

I was no further away from the store than the parking lot when the whole thing came crashing down on my heart.

What kind of man am I to judge any person other than the one I see in the mirror every morning? I know that guy pretty well and it seems he fails a lot and has a good number of issues.  What kind of father am I as well to encourage my teen son through example to be as low as I am by making fun of people we have never met.

This turned into a teachable moment as I asked my son to forgive me for this behavior. I told him Dr. King had it right when he said we should judge people by the content of their character and not as they appear or as we might perceive based on prejudgments.   

How easy it is in life to feel taller by making those around us smaller? Aren’t we called by God instead to become the least if we want to become greatest?

In the end I am thankful for the lesson that day as it reminded me how far I have to go if I am to become the man I was born to become.


Catching the right attitude

~ David C.

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison

A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune.

I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable.

There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age.
The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has blessed me with another day.” His little comment turned me around for that day.

How great it would be if we could all see our lives this way? What if we could just jump out of bed every morning praising God for the new opportunity to honor Him through our actions and our thoughts? What if we could just move forward with positive passion through every challenge? How different life be as a result of a change as simple as how we look at the world.

These questions have challenged me today and forced me to look deep into my heart. I hope the same for you. I am praying today that we can and some small way be sick on attitude together. Who knows, you just might start an epidemic.

The mountains are calling

~ David C.

The mountains are calling…..

And I must go

I love this video from The North Face. Indeed there is something about the mountains and the outdoors that call your soul to return once you have experienced them up front and personal. I am not referencing the mountains seen from a car window or a condo but instead the kind that can only be experienced from a backwoods trail.
Hiking summer of 2012
Close my eyes and I can quickly return to a star filled night during the summer of 2012 sitting in a New Mexico mountain meadow in complete silence surrounded by nothing but nature. No machines, no electronics and even no animals. Simply silence.


It turns out you can have some pretty good talks with God when there are no distractions in your way and complete evidence of his glory surrounding you. Take such an outing with some youth and you will also be amazed to see the difference hardship, fun and learning while breathing in some clean mountain air will make. It clears the mind and it clears the soul.

Months later you will also find it somehow keeps changing you. You will find yourself longing for that moment to happen again and again and again.

Keep calling mountains.

I will keep coming.