attitude

Praying for the future Mrs Copeland

~ David C.

Conner is 16 now and it seems lately I have been thinking more and more about his future. What kind of man will he be? How will he do in college? Will his dream of becoming a petroleum engineer come true? Will he go on to have a big house, nice car and fat bank account?

That stuff is all well and good but the bottom line really is that I just want him to be a Godly man and happy person no matter what path he takes to get there. I also hope that he is blessed to find a great woman to be his wife and partner through life’s journey.
It is kind of surreal to think that his future wife is out there now. This week she will go to class, hang out with friends and I am sure spend a bunch of time texting. She is also daily making choices and developing relationship skills that will impact her and Conner’s future. The teen years are the most formative in determining who we become in the future.
Right now she is learning what it means to be part of a family.  Her parents could be married, they could be divorced, they could be loving or they could be jerks. Either way they are serving as her example.
Right now she is learning what it means to be a friend. Her circle could be supportive, they could be partiers, they could be bookworms, they could be a bunch of duds. Either way these are the friends that will have the greatest long term influence on her.
Right now she is learning what it means to be a girlfriend. Chances are she has boyfriend, has had a boyfriend or wants a boyfriend. Either way she most likely has in her heart an image of what it means to be in love and how the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship works.

This future Mrs. Copeland is unknown to me by name but God in his providence has already destined her to find Conner someday.

It is for this reason that I have begun to add Conner’s future wife to my prayers. Not every day by any means but quite regularly I pray for her as if she is already part of the family. I pray for her success, her health, her choices, her relationships and her love for God.
At home, I am also always cognitive that my life is the example for Conner as to how he will treat his Mrs. Copeland someday. Michelle and I are his example much more by what we do as opposed to what we say.
It is important as parents that we realize every day that we are the model that will be followed.
Do you want your child to grow into a happy and God centered marriage? Give them the best chance by living it yourself.
And while at it, why not go ahead and pray for the unknown to you yet future family member.

I sincerely believe it will make a positive difference.

And to you future Mrs. Copeland

Someday in the future we will talk on your wedding day.  I can’t wait to hold your hand, look into your eyes and tell you that we have loved you and prayed for you long before you were even known to us. Even today I know you are amazing.






 

Fighting the numbness of frequency

~ David C.

Have you ever fallen into the frequency trap?

So much of life is a simple matter of routine. Same drive to work. Same people surrounding you. Same church on Sunday, Same chicken dinner every Tuesday and on and on and on it goes.

Frequency creates numbness to our surroundings and often to our life. To break free, many people end up seeking a rush hoping to escape and find excitement. This can be positive with goals to learn new skills, go on a special trip, try that food that cannot be pronounced, start that devotional, go for that dream job. Of course there are unhealthy ways to break out that often lead to debt, distress and even divorce.

Getting un-numb productively takes work but most of all takes awareness. It seems too often that we take for granted those things that are frequent. The seemingly mundane can be our best window to happiness if we simply take a moment to realize these are the moments that truly make our lives meaningful. There is no need to go jump out of a plane or run with the bulls. Perhaps instead we need to just add some spice and some thought to the greatness that surrounds us every day.

Imagine how much better that drive with the kid to school could be with some deeper conversation on the way? Imagine the smile on your partner’s face from an unexpected hug? Imagine how much deeper your time with God could be with just a few minutes in prayer to start the day. Heck, even that Tuesday chicken dinner could be better with just a slightly different spice.
For me, I love the frequent as it brings sustaining comfort and opportunities for appreciation of the present. Perhaps your best opportunity is right in front of you too.

Get your but out of my way

~ David C.
Years ago I used to facilitate a course that had a section about attitude. I began the session with a little exercise with the folks in pairs to share a story. The conversation had to be about a plan for the future and for round one no matter what person #1 shared the second person was to respond “yes but!”

“I am really looking forward to the weekend with my family”

“Yes but it looks like it is going to rain all weekend so you will not be able to do much.”

“My son is doing great is school right now”

“Yes but you know college is going to be super expensive and most likely he will struggle to get a job when/if he graduates.”

The round two response had to be a positive “yes and”

“I am really looking forward to the weekend with my family”

“Yes and with the rain you could play some really fun board games with great conversations.”

“My son is doing great in school right now”

“Yes and that is a terrific indicator of a positive future ahead.”

You kind of get the idea huh? The point of the conversation was to help people identify if they are a “yes but” or a “yes and person”

Sadly yes buttends to be my nature with my internal voice. Thankfully in in part due to this exercise I am always striving for the yes and instead. It really is amazing the difference switching that word can make in your attitude, outlook and life.
Even more sadly is the number of yes but’ers I see around me all the time. These folks are joy killer constantly striving to have everyone sink to their low level of negativity.

I say…..Keep your but out of my way!

What about you? Are you a yes and or a yes but person? How to you keep negative people out of your life?

Don’t let a but get in your way.