Values

Hello My Name Is…..

~ David C.
Hello my name is…..
Regret, stupid, mistake, loser, ugly, fat, defeat
For many people the labels we wear in our hearts about who or what we think we really are can be completely debilitating. Many are self-created for no real reason at all while others are the result of false assessments placed on us through the ignorance and meanness of others.
I am 46 yet in my head on bad day I can see very clearly the time as a second or third grader when in a moment of self defeat I etched “dummie” on  a brick outside the west side of our house. That moment and that word haunted me for years as not only did it continue to echo in my head but later I realized it would not come off the brick. I had created a false label. 
I think we all do this. We etch labels so deeply in our hearts that we just can’t seem to remove them. Then for some to feel better they transfer these labels to others in an effort to feel better.  I know way too many people that hate themselves and then in turn spend too much time pulling down the world around them.
I will be taller by making those around me smaller.
As Matthew West so successfully reminds us in his song we are not in many cases who we might think. Do not believe the lies. You (and I) have been placed on this world for a reason.
You can and will make a difference for your future. You can leave your past behind.
Hello
Person of influence
Successful employee
Go getter
Loving parent
Devoted spouse
Faithful servant of God

It is wonderful to meet you. 
What is your label?  

Catching the right attitude

~ David C.

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison

A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune.

I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable.

There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age.
The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has blessed me with another day.” His little comment turned me around for that day.

How great it would be if we could all see our lives this way? What if we could just jump out of bed every morning praising God for the new opportunity to honor Him through our actions and our thoughts? What if we could just move forward with positive passion through every challenge? How different life be as a result of a change as simple as how we look at the world.

These questions have challenged me today and forced me to look deep into my heart. I hope the same for you. I am praying today that we can and some small way be sick on attitude together. Who knows, you just might start an epidemic.

On Conner turning 16

~ David C.

As far as birthdays go there are few more memorable than sixteen. It is more than just a number as it represents a new freedom to roam and a giant step to independence thanks to the all-important driver’s license and access to a vehicle.

Conner reached this milestone and began his junior year of high school on the same day last week. That is a pretty good day by any measure.

His excitement level reminded me somewhat sadly of those giddy days of old when a $3 Star Wars toy or a pirate birthday party would bring boundless energy of anticipation. I made a point to be home for that moment when with the new freedom card in hand he drove off alone for the first time.

Certainly a big part of his childhood was left behind in the driveway as he cruised away music cranked and smile wide. Meanwhile back at home his mother and I shared a hug as we too acknowledged that our lives had at the same time had just changed into a new stage of parenting and of being with each other.

Just less than two years from now we will stand in that same driveway again as he leaves to begin his journey to college. I know it will go by incredibly fast and we can only pray that our parental investments and sacrifices will come back to pay dividends into the future of this great young man we are proud to know as our son.

Drive on Conner. (oh and drive slow with no texting) :   )

Failing Forward

~ David C.

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to…failure.”
― John Maxwell
One of the key traits of successful people is a willingness to fail. There are many people out there that have never failed due to having never taken a risk. They have instead chosen the low road in life. The higher you try to climb the further you may fall after all.
The risk taker steps out in front of the crowd to try. She takes the risk, fails, learns and then goes at it again with a new and improved strategy.
This concept is known as failing forward and only a few have this great capacity. No one wants to be a failure but there are those who see missteps merely as chances to find new ways to win. Far too many people unfortunately use the fear of failure as an excuse not to try.
Perhaps they were a poor student before so the thought of spending money to go back to school brings memories of emotions felt when that “F” arrived.  Maybe there was love in the past that ended in heartbreak so the thought of the pain is just too much to risk again. There was the diet that went so well only to find the weight back just a few months later. The project we dove into with gusto and passion but found out quickly no one else was on board or willing to try something new and out of the box.
I say the heck with it.
What is the point of living if we are not pushing forward with a bet the farm; give it all everyday kind of attitude.
With just a few days away to the start of 2013, it is a great time to find some new ways to thumb the past and fail forward into the future. Take as stand and let the world know you are not afraid. You are willing fail because you understand that nothing really worth having was every obtained without some risk and some passion.
And if you do—2013 might just be the start of the best season of your life ever. It is worth a try at least huh?

Happy 14!

~ David C.

Fourteen years ago today I completed my final radiation treatment after a whirlwind 9 months of lumps, surgeries, lost hope, chemo and finally healing. Yes it was many years ago but at this time of year it seems like yesterday.

That is not a bad thing as each Christmas Eve I get a wonderful reminder of how incredibly blessed I am. This is true really for anyone breathing today. If you are alive you have a chance to make today and tomorrow even better. You can forget the past and move forward in hope of a better future.

There are a lot of crazy things going on in the world today and it can get so easy to be discouraged. I do not understand the whys behind sadness and tragedy. I think if you spend too much time on it the only result is to become bleak and bitter. Who really wants to live that way?

I am taking a new look this year as I move into my 15thyear. I chose not wonder about the why but instead take the special moments and just be thankful I am here and still have a chance to be alive.

I thank the Lord for every new day. May we all be worthy of whatever lot in life we have been given and do our best to live in a way that truly honors Him.

Merry Christmas

Lance Armstrong Lied. A survivor’s perspective

~ David C.
With Lance in 1999

Finally I have come to openly accept that Lance Armstrong cheated during his reign as the Tour De France champion and as the allegations spread over the years he engaged in a fierce campaign of denial to protect his reputation, his legacy and his foundation. Whew that hurts to write yet at the same time also feels good to face the truth openly.

There is a big part of me that did not want to ever admit to what happened. Deep inside I wanted to him to remain on the pedestal his legend created. After all, Lance and I did go through our cancer experiences around the same time. I even met him in person back in 1999 as I too was working on my personal comeback from cancer to start a life changed forever by the experience. Like millions of others, I wore the bracelet and felt inspired as he won tour after tour. Most of all, I saw firsthand the inspiration and good work that would become Livestrong.org.
Now thanks to piles of undeniable evidence my one time hero has fallen and my defense for him has come to an end. I want to believe that he did not do it. I want to believe that it was not all just a lie.  I want to believe Lance was a product of his cancer experience not of a sophisticated marketing machine. I want to believe that no man could look a balding child of cancer in the eye and lie. I want to believe in the Lance Armstrong that inspired so many people to do more and so many survivors to Livestrong.

Unfortunately the facts far exceed the want of my heart.

Wish I could sit down one on one with Lance and ask him to tell the truth but I am not sure even he knows what that truth is anymore. Lies are like that. We sometimes tell them so often and with so much passion that we grow to believe them ourselves. The hole becomes so deep that there is just no way to crawl out of the darkness that has enveloped us into the light of truth. This is especially true when the lie of the moment seems to be helping others be better and to do more.

Like with his return from cancer, Lance once again is in a position to show courage and move to the front of life as an inspiration to others. He can do this by admitting he indeed is human like the rest of us and he made a mistake. We are so used to people on pedestals falling that I know most would find forgiveness for him.

Lance—Show your courage again and just tell the truth. Only then can you move forward continue to help the millions of people that look to you for inspiration. Be human and you will be forgiven.

Meanwhile, I will keep on surviving and striving to remember the lessons cancer taught me.  I will press forward and I will strive to Livestrong.

What do you think?

Does it matter to you that Lance and his team led a complex system of cheating?

Do you think he should admit the truth?

Do you think the 1,000 pages of evidence are still not enough to convince you that he doped?

Living with the brake on

~ David C.


I have been working hard this summer to improve my fitness and loose a few pounds. My routine is to alternate between running and cycling. Saturday is my long ride day and I hit the street as soon as there is enough light to ride.

For several weeks the riding did not go so well. My frustrations about this difficulty became so great that I was growing concerned about my health. Was something wrong with me? Why so hard? I thought that my fitness was improving! I bonked so hard on one Saturday ride that I had to give up early and head back to the house with a completion of only 35 miles for the day.

Then one day while passing by my bike in the garage I suddenly for some strange reason gave the back wheel a little spin.

It moved maybe an inch. OOPS!

Turns out that for who knows how long the back brake had been pressed against the wheel. I had been in essence riding with the brake on for weeks.

You can imagine how that next ride went for me after fixing the break. Suddenly I was blazing down the road (well not exactly Lance Armstrong blazing but certainly faster than I had been previously).

It seems like my life is like those rides more often than I would like to admit. I get so frustrated about going slow, not figuring things out or feeling beaten down. Then it turns out more often than not the fix is actually something simple.

A day off
A conversation with an old friend
A change in priorities
An unexpected thank you
Some time alone
A hug from the wife
Time with God

My hope is that during this summer season you can also find that simple solution the release the brake and get your mojo back. See you out there!

My Values, My Purpose, My Compelling Vision

~ David C.

As promised, here is my Value, Purpose and Compelling Vision. I have it posted at my desk along with the photo. The picture serves as a nice reminder that my wife and son are looking up to me as a leader for our family. I can never forget this and must strive to always be a Godly example.

Hopefully you have taken some time to go through this exercise as well. If not, I encourage you to do so soon.

My value list

Closeness to God
Family
Compassion
Adventure
Service
Financial security
Health
Integrity
Learning
Risk

My purpose…

To serve God, serve my family and serve those around me.

My compelling vision statement:

I shall live a life grounded with a sense of integrity and of closeness with my God.
My values along with the Oath, Law and Motto will guide my choices along the way.

In my personal life I shall seek first to be a Godly husband and father and I will value those around me.

In my work life, I am committed to helping others experience success so they in turn will help others succeed.

I indeed understand that this life is but a breath in time and the impact I will have on others in service of Him is the most important impact of all.

Psalm 39:4-5 (New Living Translation)
4 “LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.”

Writing your purpose and vision statement

~ David C.

Your purpose and vision statements are the next step in your walk to define who you are and what your life will stand for. My statements have changed many times over the years as my life circumstances have changed and as I have learned more about the world in general. Don’t worry about the wording or how it may be interpreted by others. These statements are for you.

Steven Covey has been recognized as the personal development pioneer in this area. In his book First Things First, he offers the following three basic elements that must be present in a meaningful personal vision (mission) statement. The first is what you want to be—what character strengths you want to have, what qualities you want to develop. The second is what you want to do—what you want to accomplish, what contributions you want to make. The third is what you want to have—what possessions, money and so forth you wish to have.

My statements are simple and easy to remember. Also, I am not much of “what you want to have” kind of person. Instead, I focus more on who I want to be. What you write is up to you.

Use the following exercise to help you write your statement:

Who you want to be—Imagine it is many years from now. You are walking into a large auditorium filled with excitement. You can tell from the crowd that this must be a ceremony to recognize some young people who are soon to graduate college and begin the great journey of life. At the podium a person appears and gives the introduction to her speech. It goes a little like this; “Ladies and gentleman. I am excited to be with you here today to tell the story of a life. Not just any life. This is story of a life that was lived to its fullest potential.

Today I am not here to tell you my story. Instead, I want to spend the next few minutes telling you the story of my good friend ___________________. To me he/she was a true example of someone who created a life of joy and fulfillment.

What would this speaker say about you?

“I am grateful to have known this person because…”

“My friend’s purpose in life was to…”

“In his personal life, my friend….”

“At work, my friend was known for…”

This exercise is personal by nature and there are many ways to approach it. My best suggestion is to just find a quiet place to be alone with your thoughts and truly reflect on the life you want to live. Share the results with a close friend when you are done and post your value list, purpose statement and vision statement somewhere close by.

I wish you the best and hope you found something about yourself that you may not have known.

David’s value list

~ David C.

Do you know what you value? If you took a few moments yesterday to brainstorm your thoughts you do. Congratulations! Before we move on to writing a purpose statement and a compelling vision statement I thought I would share my own value list.

My value list

Closeness to God
Family
Compassion
Adventure
Service
Financial security
Health
Integrity
Learning
Risk

Articulation of values leads to accountability. Each day I must ask myself, “Are my actions in alignment with my values as well as my Purpose and my Vision?” I often fall short but at least I know what I am striving for.

Share your list today! Post where you can see it! No accountability leads to no action.

What were some of your values? Did they align with your actions?