I have been a little uninspired these last several months as far as blog writing for some reason. It was a busy summer with work (new boss) family (teen son) and Scouts (trip to Philmont). Now fall is approaching and I find myself in a difficult in between life event time. These are times when I find myself seeking a future goal to achieve and reflecting on my recent past. Looking back, I am finding myself once again wishing I had done more. More time in prayer, more time in deep conversation with my teen son, more time showing Michelle that I love her, more time being a mentor to the youth in our Troop, more time helping my team improve performance…. This list seems to go on and on.

The truth is that I never feel I am doing enough yet at the same time I also know I can’t do it all.

Glancing through my personal journal this morning a run across these questions that I posted more than five years ago:

• What are YOU passionate about?

• What has God put in YOU?

• What needs can God use YOU to meet?

• What breaks YOUR heart?

• What are YOU uniquely equipped and called to do?

What are my answers? Time to ponder and pray for answers.

What about you? What are your answers to these powerful questions?

It is hard believe that our son just weeks ago from completed his freshman year of high school. The realization that everyday day brings my wife and I another step closer to him moving on to college and life as an adult has hit me hard lately. Well and there is the whole turning 45 recently too.

The future is sitting hard on me. Much of it is financial with the expenses that come with children and time marching towards retirement. Trendy clothes, summer camps, a car (yikes!) and of course there is college. The current cost per year of an in state school is estimated at close to $20,000 per year if you include room and board when figuring expenses. The roller coaster that is life working for a company that has layoffs most every spring also does not help at times.

So how did this first year of high school go? Overall I would say Conner experienced success and the challenges one might expect as a student in a very diverse 6A public school. He made new friends, found himself with a new passion for music (jazz) and made his way through the maze that is teen high school life. Looking back, I am amazed at everything he accomplished and am proud of his choices

The picture of the man he will be in the future seems to be clearer all the time. I see a man that does not follow the crowd, respects others, loves to laugh, works hard, is a servant, is a leader, and more. Luckily he is many of the things I was not at his age and all of these are good.

We never know as parents what our child really feels inside. We hope their hearts are mostly filled with joy of the present and positive hope for the future. We know that at times it is filled with pain, self-doubt and questions. We pray that the positive and negative experiences of youth are simple building blocks to the trials that will come as an adult.

As father’s day approaches, I am so thankful to have such a wonderful son. Being a dad is the greatest of my responsibilities and the greatest of joys as well.

New Dads—Don’t let miss a moment of your child’s growth. They will indeed be gone before you know it.

Whew I am back! Today is my return to Twitter after a 21 day fast from it and a few other things. With over two years, 15,000+ tweets, and four accounts under my belt, I felt compelled to take a little break. Amazingly, during this time the world kept turning and people did not go running through the streets yelling, “where is David Copeland! I must know what he is thinking today!” Chances are that the vast majority of my followers did not even notice my absence.

It has always been my twitter desire for a two sided fluid experience. The fun for me is getting to know people through conversation and interaction. It may sound silly but I am genuinely interested to learn about the lives of others and this is way more important than number of followers or any other twitter metric.

So what did I learn during this time? Mostly I learned that twitter like all things needs to be kept in perspective and that life indeed does go on just fine without social media.

My inspiration for this fasting time was from a great Lifechurch sermon. You can watch it here and read the 21 day fast devotional at http://www.youversion.com/

I have a confession. I love Mondays.

What? Yes I know most people hate Mondays and comments putting down the day are quite common. Of course there are those “back to the salt mine” and other references to the drudgery of another work week that we hear often on this day.

Here’s the deal. I see every Monday as a little Jan 1st. It is an opportunity to start fresh and step into week of new goals and promises. The mistakes and missteps of last week are gone and my life is once again a blank page. What will I accomplish this week? What meetings to I need to plan? What performance at work do I need to impact? How many miles does my training schedule say I need to run? What is my nutrition plan to be healthy? What steps can I take this week to honor God?

These are just a few questions I find myself asking every Monday morning.

I choose to live for the weekends AND I choose to live for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday as well.

Face it. The majority of our lives take place during the in-betweens. I will not waste these days with complaints or just getting by until Friday does arrive.

I hope you too will take a moment to look at Monday with fresh eyes and attitude!

Are you an “I hate Mondays person”?

If not, what are some things you do to start the week excited?

“If you keep doing what you have always done you will keep getting what you have always got”

This is one of the most powerful statements I have ever heard and I posted it up as a theme as I wrote my 2011 goals.

I think one of the greatest dangers in life is success as it can lead to complacency. You reach that weight loss goal, stop eating right and soon the weight starts to creep back on. You finish the marathon and the post run workout break soon becomes months of inactivity. You finally get that job you dreamed and worked so hard for and then stop learning and growing. I have seen this in my own life many times.

Good is indeed the enemy of great.

I am planning to get radical in 2011. I do not want to be comfortable and content. I want and plan to seek the pain of challenge and of risk.

What about you?
If you have not taken a deep personal assessment of what you are going to do differently do it now and post it somewhere that will drive you forward. Step out this year and stop doing what you have always done.

God did not make you to be simply good. I believe He made you to be great and to make a real difference during this very short time you are on this earth. A difference for him through your talents and your passion.

Don’t just be good—be great!

What is one challenge you plan in 2011?

Like many of you I am using the New Year as an opportunity to refocus on my health and shed the pounds I picked up thanks to all the yummy holiday food over the previous two months. This year I have a new arsenal of weapons in my war against girth thanks to my wonderful HTC EVO and the Android market.

The key to losing weight I have found over the years is not to diet but instead focus on healthy eating habits and to make in an all in family lifestyle choice. Diets simply do not work because they are temporary and mentally indicate you are “on a program”. Programs have a beginning and an ending vs. a lifestyle which is simply ongoing.

Losing weight through a life style change then becomes easy and simple. Keys for me have been:

• No fried foods

• No sodas—Including diet

• Minimal processed foods and sugar

• No snacks after 8PM

• Four small meals a day

• Focus on fresh fruits and vegetables

• Lower intensity cardio over a longer period of time

• Weight lifting

• Still enjoying pizza and other “bad food” gilt free from time to time

It is simple math really. You should take in less calories than you are burning during the day. I could go into the points above in great detail but that is not why you are reading this : )

So how do you figure the math? Thankfully there is an awesome free app for that called Calorie Counter. This app links you to fatsecret.com and will sync all your data inputs.

Almost every food you might encounter can be found in the database to make tracking a breeze. It even has really cool bar code scanning embedded for you to easily do uploads.

With all this help at your fingertip there should be no excuse for a healthy 2011!

Have you tried this app?

What other healthy lifestyle tools have you found that are device friendly?

What is your big health goal for 2011?

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.

Henry David Thoreau

If you really knew me…..

This is the most well-known line from the Challenge Day program thanks to the MTV program of the same title. The students do not walk into the room and then suddenly just open up to tell the world their inner fears, hidden dreams and personal battles. The statement only begins after several hours of skillful door opening by the Challenge day team.

I saw these doors open with the students in my “family” group as we moved through the day. They opened their hearts and soon were sharing challenges as well as support for each other. For the sake of the promised confidentiality, I will not write about who I was with or what was said. What I will say is that I know their attitude about teenage life was different by the end of the day. The common theme was. “I did not know so many others had these same issues.” “Now I don’t feel so alone.”

As adults facilitators, we fully participated in the program including crossing the line and completing the “if you really knew me” statement.

What did I share? I told that kids that if you really knew me, they would know that as an adult and parent I often live my life in fear too. Fear of losing my job due to the poor economy. Fear of failing as a parent. Fear of failing as a husband. Fear of feeling the lump again as I did that morning 12 years ago. Fear of not fulfilling the positive destiny God intends for my life and on and on.

My point with this openness was to let them know we all have our doubts and sometimes parents let these fears create unhealthy behaviors through overwork, avoidance, harshness, withdrawal, conflict and more.

Seeing that even the 43-year-old stranger sitting here was not all that different or in fact perfect seemed to connect with them.

I think the Thoreau quote describes most of us. The fact that is you too are not alone.

If brave enough to release your song even you may find yourself in the midst of a joyous chorus of love and healing soon thereafter. It all starts with that first note!

If I only knew you what would you say?

Who am I?

I took this picture recently at an OU football game. I don’t know of you have ever had a chance to see the new scoreboard there but the thing is HUGE.

Who am I?

This question struck me as I saw it blazing across the scoreboard. It reminded me of the many times in my life that suddenly I have found myself asking this question.

Who am I?

I have struggled with this most of my life and have actively sought through a variety of methods to answer the question. There have been many hours in prayer asking God and there have been assessments such as Disc and MBTI. (I am an INFP btw)

And yet I find myself asking…

I have finally come to the realization that self-actualization will never happen for me. I am indeed wired to question and to seek. I wish I knew why the Lord wired me this way. Why He chose to give me this driving desire to always question who I am and what His purpose is for me but in the end it does not matter since I am who I am.

Many people experience depression this time of year with the turn to winter, the holidays and of course the sad state of the economy. My prayer this week is that we all will experience a moment of true thankfulness. Don’t worry about who you are, who you were or who you are going to be. For a moment, just pause and be thankful without question.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving

The weather guy last night said we are losing about 10 minutes of daylight a week now. “A sure sign that fall is coming”. Wow it certainly does not feel like fall outside with the sun blazing and temperatures in the 100’s. He was right though, fall is marching towards us and there is no holding back the inevitability of the new season.

Changes in life and work are a lot like those ten minutes a week. Sure, we have the big wham bam changes but in reality the movement comes in small subtle increments over a long period of time. Pounds lost come in small choices like a salad vs. a cheeseburger at lunch. A broken relationship comes in random negative comments and missed opportunities to uplift one another. We have all heard about not sweating the small stuff but in so many ways it is the small stuff in life that makes the biggest difference over time.

I think for this week I am not going to worry about big things and instead will just focus on the 10.

My next door neighbor passed away last week. He was 88 and had lived a long and meaningful life. He was only next to us for a few years but I learned much from this great man.

Fred’s bride of 68 years is the sweetest woman you would every meet. A delightful smile, quick to hug, and always cheerful. I can see why a man would love her so much and for so long. Francis also has dementia and most every time we met it was at if we had never met before. The cool part is this meeting with her was always with the joy of meeting a new friend.

Francis “Now remind me who you are again?”

Fred–“Why honey, this is David. He is the young man that lives next door to us”

Not long after this a hug and a hello would follow from Francis.

Throughout any conversation with Francis there were many repeated questions. Each time Fred would lovingly and patiently answer the question as if it were the first time in his life he had been asked. I am sure that when alone most of their conversations were very much like my little time with them. Imagine how many times Fred had to answer the same inquiry. I have no doubt every response was just as full of love as I saw in person.

In this simple gesture, I learned what it really means to love someone not just during the boundless start of life’s journey but all the way to the joyful end.

Love is not just about the firsts. It is about the in-betweens and the ends as well.

Thank you Fred for this lesson and thank you for being my neighbor. I will never forget the lesson you taught me through the example you lived.