Conner completed middle school this week and soon he will be in high school. It is a well-worn cliché to say “they grow up so fast” but indeed it is true. In the grand scheme of my overall life the years we have with our son living with us are so incredibly limited. This home time is made even shorter with the ever busy schedule of a teenage boy and a dad working the grind of a busy career.

Funny thing, just last week I spoke to a group about finding success through managing priorities versus time and here I am struggling to do the same myself. I think it in reality takes daily effort and the openness to realize that everything in life is a season. Sometimes in the midst of all the madness we need to pause and see where time is going and where we are placing our priorities.

I know that in these next four years Conner will take the steps to fully head down the path of being a man. I also know that this is the time that we as parents will need to step more and more back and begin to fully let him find his own way. We will be there in the boundaries of his life with proactive advice and of course the occasional “I told you so”.

In our father-son relationship these four years also represent a critical point in time. We will in a way grow closer through the process of growing apart. It is my prayer that God will provide me with the wisdom and the courage I will need to be there for Conner. I want to be there not as is his friend but instead truly as his earthly father.

So bring it on high school! Hand in hand, heart to heart and with the Lord guiding us I know Michelle, Conner and I are in for a fantastic Journey.

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and as usual I rounded up some goodies for the Mrs. including dark chocolate and a sweet card. My son and I joined together on our expedition of love two weeks ago.

This was a teachable moment about some Valentine giving rules. Number one of course being:

1. Don’t be lame!

It cracks me up every year to see the panicked men at the drug or grocery store the evening of the 14th pilfering through the leftovers for a card that will give a slight glimpse into the heart of love he has for his sweetie.

The lesson for the son was to be sure and plan for the big day well in advance to ensure the only the best card and best candies make the cut.

My wife of course believes the same as is evidenced by the wonderful card she chose. Clearly given that I had picked out the very same card for her we are two brilliant masters of love that are just meant to be together.

Later that evening came the greatest gift of all when our 13 year old son in his prayers thanked the Lord for having parents that love each other.

Teaching our sons about how to be loving husbands as well as hopeless romantics through even goofy and by chance examples are indeed a great gift.

When was the last time you told your wife how much you love her within ear shot of your children?

When was the last time you prayed in front of your child and thanked God for giving you such a wonderful and beautiful wife?

What are some other ways we can pursue our wife’s as a positive example? I would like to hear your ideas too. (so I can steal them of course)

There I said it.

My father died when I was very young shortly after my mother and father had divorced. As hard as I have tried, I have no memories of my father and I do not recall my mother ever sharing stories with me as a child about the kind of man he was.

One of the very few pictures of me with my dad. That is my back

Growing up a fatherless boy in a single parent household had a tremendous impact on my youth. It did not help that I was overweight, awkward and very shy. Not having a father became a focus to everything I perceived as wrong in my life. I just knew if I had a dad around he would be teaching me everything I wanted to be and was not. I would know how to be athletic, fix things, be thin, talk to girls, be smart, make friends, and more. Eventually when I was in 8th grade my mother remarried but unfortunately the man that became my stepfather and I never connected.

Fast forward to August 19th 1997. On this day I became a father. I will admit that I was terrified about being a dad to a son. What kind of dad would I be given that I had no positive example to follow? The moment when I held him in my arms the first time all my fear went away and I committed to do everything I could to be the dad to Conner that I had fantasized for my own as a child.

Fast forward to May of 1998. That was the moment when I learned I had cancer and my chances of living beyond even a few months were very slim. Suddenly the prospect of a fatherless childhood became a reality for my own son. Would he now have to suffer through the same kind of childhood that was my memory?

Now is your time to change or to help another dad discover the best in himself. I have made in the past and will make in the future many mistakes as a father. However, to my core I will never stop learning and trying to be the best father I can possibly be.

Dads—you too can reach your fathering potential. Learn, grow and strive to be more.

Don’t piss me off