happiness

The Voice

~ David C.
The voice–We have all heard it. It comes at us in those moments when we take a new step toward achievement or when we are thinking about taking a risk. For some people the voice is good and motivational. It tells you that you are worthy of success and that you can meet your goals.


For many others the voice is different and debilitating.


“Don’t bother with the diet. You have failed losing weight in the past and this time will be no different”


“Don’t go on that blind date. You suck at relationships and are destined to live alone”


“Don’t sign up for the run. You have never really exercised before and it is just not possible.”


“Don’t go back to school. Your previous educational experience was a struggle and you are not smart enough to succeed.”

“There is no point to getting out of debt. You will never be financially free”


Your inner voice can get so full of don’ts that eventually it shoves out all the dos leaving you in a pattern of regret.


Here’s the deal. The real truth is that you can succeed and you can finally move forward to follow the right voice. The mere fact that you hear it pulling you to joy should tell you there is a destiny inside just waiting to be released. If there were no hope there would be no voice.


We live in an age of ready at the moment inspiration. There is no need to unlock the secrets to success. Why? Because at every turn there are examples of people just like you that wanted to change and somehow found the trigger moment that propelled them to win.


You are no different


You have it all within you


There is no better time than right now at this moment to make the choice to make the change you want. Why wait? Why wonder? Set a small goal that you can accomplish not this year but this day. S

Something that would be a small and perhaps private accomplishment that just hours from now you can look back and say, “yes I did it”. If you can do that….you can do more.

Momentum is a wonderful thing and it will never start without your first step of courage.

On twenty years of marriage

~ David C.
Twenty years ago last week Michelle and I started the amazing journey of marriage together. Just a few years prior to that grand day we had met on a blind date through a mutual friend. Now many years later we are at a beginning again of sorts as we are stepping into life together as empty nesters since our only child has now moved off to college. It is very appropriate in a way to have this anniversary and the transition to a new life together in the same year.
These many years have been amazing and full of adventures, joy, heartache, togetherness, challenges learning and most of all love.
I can remember clearly in the years leading prior to meeting Michelle wondering if I would ever meet someone that I would marry and spend the rest of my life with. There were times when I thought it would never happen. That simple blind date led me to a person that I had been praying and hoping for all my life. 
I relish my time with Michelle. She is the perfect spouse, mother and friend. She believes in me when I am at my end. She loves me in the good times and in the bad times. She smiles on, laughs and stays positive when others would turn the other way and give up.

I read the other day that 41% of all 1st marriages end in divorce and to me that is tragic. Marry the right person to start and then stick together as partners no matter what life will throw at you. The key is having faith in God and faith in each other. With these two things combined the result is always a win in the end. 

Time to burn the boats?

~ David C.
Ever seen the movie Hunt for Red October? It is one on my favorite of all time.
Early in the movie Captain Ramious during a gathering of his officers rather casually informs them that he has left a letter with the Soviet high command informing them of their plan to defect to the United States and turnover their high tech submarine. The officers are enraged as they know this will bring the entire Soviet fleet down on them in an effort to destroy the ship and prevent the defection.
Next, Sean Connery in that famous accent of his tells the legend of Cortez and his arrival to the new world. As the story goes, in 1519 Cortez with 500 men and 11 ships traveled to the South America intending to conquer and capture treasure.
Cortez knew this was going to be a great challenge for his men and decided to take action in a way that would ensure complete engagement of his army. He left them with no alternative other than complete success. He ordered them to burn the boats. As Captain Ramious so eloquently frames it in the movie, this left his men “highly motivated”
Too seldom in our lives do we decide as Cortez did to throw away all fear of success and burn the boats. Instead we let our fear and our focus on past failed attempts keep us from fully living life as it should be lived.
 

As we move into a new season of change with another year nearing a close, I want to challenge you to burn the boats and never look back. Just imagine what you will accomplish. 

Cubicle Man!

~ David C.
I am not much of a TV watcher and it seems when I do take time to flip through the current cable offerings all we seem to have any more are reality shows. Interestingly, many of the popular shows are about people that have jobs and lives of danger and excitement.
Who would have imagined years ago that there would be an audience for shows about fishermen, lumberjacks, Alaska cabin dwellers, and redneck country folks.
I spend my day in a cubicle. The overall level of excitement of reading e-mails, attending conference calls and enduring endless meetings is somewhat lacking.
Perhaps I need to star in my own show. “Cubicleman!?” “E-mail Dynasty!?” “Conference calls: The Last Frontier!?” I could set up a GOPRO camera and record every exciting moment.
Up at 530! Work by 0700! Lunch at desk while working! Out by 530! My day would be riveting I am sure for others to observe.
Most if these shows are popular because people long to escape their own mundane and sterile lives to have adventure and challenges. We were born for adventure—climb mountains, fight battles, solve problems and to conquer.
Anything less brings boredom and a wandering spirit.
Let me offer a cure. Look into the world around you and find your own adventure. There is joy and excitement in our everyday lives. You just have to notice it.

Go enjoy life. After all, as I used to tell my son, “only boring people get bored”.  It is your choice. 

Wal-Mart sucks and so do I

~ David C.

Like many people I know, I avoid shopping at Wal-Mart as much as possible. I loathe the dozens of cashier stations with typically just a small percentage open. I cringe at the thought of using the terrible self-service kiosks that always seem to crash when I use them while gleefully exclaiming, “item not found in bag” when I try to pay. Oh the agony.

Then of course there are the people of Wal-Mart. It seems the store brings in a lower class of poorly dressed and equally poorly behaved people shopping in pajamas, house shoes and no bras.

Give me the high class folks of Target or a locally owned store any day.

Just other day the son and I were forced to shop in Wal-Mart together for an item that could not be found anywhere else. We bravely fought the holiday crowd while at the same time gaining great amusement feeling good about ourselves by making fun of the people in the store.

Huh?

I was no further away from the store than the parking lot when the whole thing came crashing down on my heart.

What kind of man am I to judge any person other than the one I see in the mirror every morning? I know that guy pretty well and it seems he fails a lot and has a good number of issues.  What kind of father am I as well to encourage my teen son through example to be as low as I am by making fun of people we have never met.

This turned into a teachable moment as I asked my son to forgive me for this behavior. I told him Dr. King had it right when he said we should judge people by the content of their character and not as they appear or as we might perceive based on prejudgments.   

How easy it is in life to feel taller by making those around us smaller? Aren’t we called by God instead to become the least if we want to become greatest?

In the end I am thankful for the lesson that day as it reminded me how far I have to go if I am to become the man I was born to become.


Catching the right attitude

~ David C.

“The world is what we think it is. If we can change our thoughts we can change the world” H.M. Tomlison

A funny thing about attitudes is that they are as contagious as colds. We truly tend to catch whichever one we surround ourselves with most. No one is immune.

I have often found myself in a circle of negativity fully participating in the downtrodden conversation about how terrible this or that or him or she is. Soon thereafter upon reflection, I often end up feeling a genuine sense of shame that I chose to take part and more importantly chose to enable.

There was a day during my chemotherapy that served as perhaps the best reminder. I was sitting quietly in the waiting room before the start of my treatments when the nurse came in to get the gentleman sitting next to me. This guy was in obvious pain, poor health and was well advanced in age.
The nurse asked, “How are you today?” Without missing a beat he replied, “Wonderful! My eyes opened this morning and the Lord has blessed me with another day.” His little comment turned me around for that day.

How great it would be if we could all see our lives this way? What if we could just jump out of bed every morning praising God for the new opportunity to honor Him through our actions and our thoughts? What if we could just move forward with positive passion through every challenge? How different life be as a result of a change as simple as how we look at the world.

These questions have challenged me today and forced me to look deep into my heart. I hope the same for you. I am praying today that we can and some small way be sick on attitude together. Who knows, you just might start an epidemic.

The mountains are calling

~ David C.

The mountains are calling…..

And I must go

I love this video from The North Face. Indeed there is something about the mountains and the outdoors that call your soul to return once you have experienced them up front and personal. I am not referencing the mountains seen from a car window or a condo but instead the kind that can only be experienced from a backwoods trail.
Hiking summer of 2012
Close my eyes and I can quickly return to a star filled night during the summer of 2012 sitting in a New Mexico mountain meadow in complete silence surrounded by nothing but nature. No machines, no electronics and even no animals. Simply silence.


It turns out you can have some pretty good talks with God when there are no distractions in your way and complete evidence of his glory surrounding you. Take such an outing with some youth and you will also be amazed to see the difference hardship, fun and learning while breathing in some clean mountain air will make. It clears the mind and it clears the soul.

Months later you will also find it somehow keeps changing you. You will find yourself longing for that moment to happen again and again and again.

Keep calling mountains.

I will keep coming.

Get your but out of my way

~ David C.
Years ago I used to facilitate a course that had a section about attitude. I began the session with a little exercise with the folks in pairs to share a story. The conversation had to be about a plan for the future and for round one no matter what person #1 shared the second person was to respond “yes but!”

“I am really looking forward to the weekend with my family”

“Yes but it looks like it is going to rain all weekend so you will not be able to do much.”

“My son is doing great is school right now”

“Yes but you know college is going to be super expensive and most likely he will struggle to get a job when/if he graduates.”

The round two response had to be a positive “yes and”

“I am really looking forward to the weekend with my family”

“Yes and with the rain you could play some really fun board games with great conversations.”

“My son is doing great in school right now”

“Yes and that is a terrific indicator of a positive future ahead.”

You kind of get the idea huh? The point of the conversation was to help people identify if they are a “yes but” or a “yes and person”

Sadly yes buttends to be my nature with my internal voice. Thankfully in in part due to this exercise I am always striving for the yes and instead. It really is amazing the difference switching that word can make in your attitude, outlook and life.
Even more sadly is the number of yes but’ers I see around me all the time. These folks are joy killer constantly striving to have everyone sink to their low level of negativity.

I say…..Keep your but out of my way!

What about you? Are you a yes and or a yes but person? How to you keep negative people out of your life?

Don’t let a but get in your way.

Failing Forward

~ David C.

“The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to…failure.”
― John Maxwell
One of the key traits of successful people is a willingness to fail. There are many people out there that have never failed due to having never taken a risk. They have instead chosen the low road in life. The higher you try to climb the further you may fall after all.
The risk taker steps out in front of the crowd to try. She takes the risk, fails, learns and then goes at it again with a new and improved strategy.
This concept is known as failing forward and only a few have this great capacity. No one wants to be a failure but there are those who see missteps merely as chances to find new ways to win. Far too many people unfortunately use the fear of failure as an excuse not to try.
Perhaps they were a poor student before so the thought of spending money to go back to school brings memories of emotions felt when that “F” arrived.  Maybe there was love in the past that ended in heartbreak so the thought of the pain is just too much to risk again. There was the diet that went so well only to find the weight back just a few months later. The project we dove into with gusto and passion but found out quickly no one else was on board or willing to try something new and out of the box.
I say the heck with it.
What is the point of living if we are not pushing forward with a bet the farm; give it all everyday kind of attitude.
With just a few days away to the start of 2013, it is a great time to find some new ways to thumb the past and fail forward into the future. Take as stand and let the world know you are not afraid. You are willing fail because you understand that nothing really worth having was every obtained without some risk and some passion.
And if you do—2013 might just be the start of the best season of your life ever. It is worth a try at least huh?